L'histoire de oublié un

I'm so bored so I decided to write a short story, xD. The Title is ;



It was a long time ago, at that time, the Holy Empire splits into two divided factions which fights each other for power. The heirs of the Holy Empire sought for power, never once they agreed with each other ever since the last emperor that united the the whole empire were still alive. Now, both factions is in uneasy alliance, distrust is all that's left...

The Western Holy Empire is then renamed as The Creatia Empire while the Eastern Holy Empire was named The Astrean Empire. Both with their own beliefs, moving away from each other. This is the beginning of the story, the story of a man who will rise and follows the path of the emperor. He was just an ordinary peasant. However, it is his belief that will change the history of the Holy Empire forever. It is also his belief that would consume himself after he succeeded.

Good english EinZ . You can be a book writer or a comic drawer after seeing that drawing . Keep it up

Agree awesome english ;3 and nice story. Can you write romance one? lol

Main Character 1 - Max
Main Character 2 - Angela

================

Other Character will be introduced later.

And @shuu, this story is a mixed one, so it'll have romance too.

On to Chapter One then!


"Max, do you hear me? The governor would like to have the taxes ready by dawn,"

A man tells the boy named Max to prepare his monthly taxation to the governor. Max nodded. He sigh and murmurs,

"Damn, the governor's corrupted, how could I send my taxes to him. But, what can I do, I am born from the family of even I don't know who they was,"

Max put all of taxed share at his wagons and then he heads for the governor's mansion at the top of the hill where the governor lived. When he arrives, he knocked the door of the mansion. A man with a rich clothing came out and took the Max's taxed share. The rich looking man is the governor for the area. However, his face tells Max that something is going to happen. The governor is already prepared to leave the village. He took the initiative to ask the governor.

"Old man, what happened to you, you looks pretty weird today. Normally you look all haughty and confident,"

The governor did not answer, as soon as he gets the taxed share, he left his mansion and took everything he got from Max. Max left the mansion with the feelings of uneasy. As he arrived at the village, one of his childhood friend, Chris, greeted him.

"Finished doing your task? My wife cooked a nice dinner today. I hope you could come this night for the dinner,"

Max smiled at him and replied,

"Of course,". Max heads home and takes a bath. As he agreed to join Chris for dinner, he rushes to Chris's house.

"Guess I can look forward to the dinner," he said to himself as he arrived at the door of Chris's house. Suddenly, he saw a flag at the end of the village. The flag seems to be moving. It is the flag of the Creatia Empire.

"Army of the western empire? What are they doing here? This is the territory of eastern empire.Uh... I got a bad feelings about this..." he murmurs to himself.

The armies of the Creatia Empire lights up their torch and throws the torches towards the village's house. He was surprised to see the Empire's soldiers threw a torch towards the village's house. He took the initiative to knock the door so that they can escape. The western Creatia Empire has betrayed the eastern Astrean Empire, it is a fact that he must understands now.

"Fuck off! Chris!! Open the door now! We must run! The Western Empire is attacking our village!"

As the armies of the western empire knew that their plan will fail if someone escaped, the armies charged at Max who was shouting, whom tells whole village to escape.

"Damn! I must escape now!" Max turns his face to look at the armies whom charged at him and he saw Chris who is just opening the door. One of the army took the initiative before Chris could take any action. Chris has been beheaded. He continues to run away but stopped by a girl. Judging by her armor, she is from the army that attacked his village, however it is not what made he shocked, it is her body that made him shocked. The girl's age is the same as he is. He could tell even the girl is currently wearing a helm.

"Since you all going to die here anyways, how about sparring with me? If you win, you may be able to escape this place," the girl thrown one of her sword to Max. She laughs. It is a laughing of someone who enjoys killing. His blood runs cold as he heard the laugh.

"Damn...damn..... I don't want to die....I want to live... I want to live...." he took the sword and charged at the girl.

*Ktang!* *Shang!*

It is the sound of sword clashing. Max swings the sword as he has ever used it. It is weird premonition. He felt like he has ever uses a sword.

"This is good! I never thought a peasant could use sword really well. Now, how's this?!" she launched a powerful blow towards Max and cuts his torso. Max holds his torso while bleeding heavily.

"Ah......" he breathes heavily and falls down. It was a short moment, then, the girl took the initiative and ends Max's life in an instant by stabbing Max's heart.

As she wants to leave Max's body. She had a bad feeling. She looked back and saw Max is standing as nothing's happened. There is no wound at his body. It was a shock to her.

"I can't believe this, you're....not even injured," she looked at Max. She knew in an instant, that is not the boy the was fighting, it is another person that she is currently fighting. Her intuition tells her that she could not win. "How could this be possible...I'm sure I have killed you," she said. Max charges at her with the sword and she could hardly defend against the attacks. "What happened...? He is different, I would say, he's like a different person," she looked at the boy with uneasiness. She is really angry because of the fact that someone could stand against her. She has never lost in fights and she is one of the generals of Creatia Empire. The reason she could become one is because of her talents and her ability.

"Damn...! You reviving bastard! I'll kill you!" driven by her rage, she launches a consecutive attacks toward Max but it is ineffective. Then, Max launches a blow towards her head from above, and broke her helm. The girl understands now, that she would die if the fight continues. Suddenly, Max stopped, falls down and fainted. She felt relieved that the man that stand against him is no longer a threat, for now.

"Hah..ha...." She said, as she took a deep breath, then, she stops and her sword falls from her grasp. She sat to the ground and looked at the fainted boy. "Damn, you're an interesting bastard. I never felt the feeling of going to die before."

I haven't finished reading it yet but EinZ check your english and grammar. Really you have a lot of errors and it kind of ruins the whole reading experience. Remember even the slightest mistakes can mislead your readers. It's a good story but I think you can do better with a little tweaking of your minor mistakes.


EDIT Yes I am a hard critic.

EDIT 2 Yeah sorry XD spelled it wrong haha

I got a headache reading the kingdom part .

Well, thanks luminaz, I'll re-check them all and fix it.

luminaz wrote:

I haven't finished reading it yet but EinZ check your english and grammar. Really you have a lot of errors and it kind of ruins the whole reading experience. Remember even the slightest mistakes can mislead your readers. It's a good story but I think you can do better with a little tweaking of your minor mistakes.


EDIT Yes I am a hard critique.

I think you meant to say, I am a hard critic.

Wow chapter 2 please ;P oh no rush lol

EinZ wrote:

I'm so bored so I decided to write a short story, xD. The Title is ;

-L'histoire de oublié un-

-Prologue Chapter-

It was a long time ago, at that time, the Holy Empire splits into two divided factions which fights each other for power. The heirs of the Holy Empire sought for power, never once they agreed with each other ever since the last emperor that united the the whole empire were still alive. Now, both factions is in uneasy alliance, distrust is all that's left...

The Western Holy Empire is then renamed as The Creatia Empire while the Eastern Holy Empire was named The Astrean Empire. Both with their own beliefs, moving away from each other. This is the beginning of the story, the story of a man who will rise and follows the path of the emperor. He was just an ordinary peasant. However, it is his belief that will change the history of the Holy Empire forever. It is also his belief that would consume himself after he succeeded.

LOL Einz i think u jz let me read this story last few years....its at school coz u bored so u wrote this story

You got it wrong, the story is totally different. Read the chapter 1. And at that time. It's a story of Turkish Independence War lol.

So einz really love to write when she's bored ;3 Good story :)

Here's the Chapter Two;


Max woke up and found out that he is in an army camp's tent. It is the camp of the Creatia Empire. He saw that there is a girl who is writing at the table of the tent.

"Uh....." Max said while enduring the pain that received from the girl that he fought before. He does not understands himself. The wound which have taken his life has disappeared. the only wound that is still presents is the wound that is not fatal.

"You've waken up?" the girl asks Max. "Who are you...?" he replied. "I guess you're okay by now," she said, mannerly. "That emblem....you're the person who attacked me in the forest...!" Max stands up as he realized the girl's identity. "Relax, I'm not going to kill. You have defeated me. Why should I fight a battle that I would surely lose?" the girl explains what happened before to him.

"What...? How come...?" he said, not believes in what the girl said. It's obvious, he can't trust the person who tried to kill him. Who would ever trust a person who had killed you, it's just his experience did not allow it. Once, he had experienced a near death situation, the person who tried to kill is killed. It was he who kill the person who tried to kill him.

"It's okay, you had a trauma in these matter. So I won't force you to believe me. By the way, I am the the seventh division of the Creatia Empire general. My subordinate didn't call me by the name, general or something like that, since I'm also a princess of the Agnes house. My name is Angela Victoire Blaze, the head princess of the Agnes house," she explains herself clearly.

Max is so shocked after finding out that she is the princess of the Creatia Empire but anger and hatred fills his heart. How can a princess kills innocent people. This is unacceptable, is what he thought. "I bring you here, because, you're interesting," she continues and asks Max on his name. "... My name is Max... Max Blackcross," he replied.

"Princess, the armies of the Astrean Empire is preparing a counter attack, what should we do, we cannot be on stand by for any longer. We must prepare a force and attacks them," a captain tells Angela. "Blood... is something gruesome, isn't it...?" Angela said to Max. "Don't tell me... you're a ...." Max said while guessing her true identity. She does not answer and went out of the tent. "There is something wrong with her... I can see it," Max went out of the tent and follows her.

"War, war and war again.... damn.... how can I stop it? Am I stu...pid?? Our country was the first to attack and created a war.... hahaha...." she said and laughing while her tears came out. "If you really don't want a war... why would you attack us...?" Max answers her. She turns back and faces Max. "You know, I really hates war but I can't help it... My body was experimented and I became a.... monster that hungers for blood with the exchange of the superhuman strength I have now....haha...it's so funny....I'm the head princess, yet, I'm not a human..." Angela explains.

"It's because of your hunger for blood that you strive for war?" he continues to ask. "No. It's the emperor's order. I can live on by drinking bloods, it does not mean that I have to go to an all out war. I guess that's more than enough question you have asked me. Pardon me, I'm going lead my forces" she leaves while Max is in unsuspecting state.

Her beautiful figures, her charisma and her power. It is more than enough to make someone thinks that she is special. He is powerless. He can't save the girl. That's what Max thought.
"But..." Max said, to himself. "I can't save her..... To save her... I need a new ideals and a new power..." he said. "You have defeated me, have you forgotten?" that's one of the explanation she told him before. He has defeated the superhuman, it is something he must understands. What's left is his ideal.... what is his ideals... it is something he must discover.

"Are you an i-diot?, Max, you want to save everyone, even the bad one...? that's ridiculous!" is what he remembered from what Chris said. It was a long time ago. "Saving everyone...? Is that my ideals..?" Max questions himself. "Yea, it is my ideal, I must save everyone... that's what I've been living for, that's what I strive for.." Max said. "Then..I must save her.." he continued.

Meanwhile, Angela led the armies of Creatia Empire against the attacking Astrean Empire's forces. "Men, value your life and just defends the position, I would be the one to attack first!" she ordered her forces to stay on defensive while she assaults, alone. As the battle has just began, Angela has already killed more than fifty of enemy's armies. The battle rages on, it is the battle of someone who wants to protect their men. She continues to strive alone, in the midst of the battlefield.

Suddenly, the Creatia Empire's forces charges at the Astrean Empire's forces. Angela was so shocked, she could not believe that her own men would go against her order. "Angela! I... I'll save you!" Max was the first to charge towards the Astrean Empire's forces, followed by Angela's men. It is a miracle, there is no single person that could make her own men to go against her order except her. The battle reaches it's climax. The Astrean Empire's forces who are much stronger in the earlier of the battle is on the verge of defeat. It's a heroic victory.

That was great. You did fix some of your grammar, just some, but it makes it easier to follow.

A good advice, try to cut down on the ellipsis ("..."). I had that problem too and it just made my characters look emo and very weak. Try to change it with a "-" if they stutter and if they're thinking add text. (T-T my friends are even harsher critics to me).

Over all it's good. I'll wait to read chapter 3.

Till what chapter? I'll wait till chapter 3-4 and i'll print it and read ;P

Angela told everything about the experiments made by the Creatia Empire to Max. As he understood everything about the experiment. He knew that he longer have the right to avenge his comrades. He must stop the madness made by the Creatia Empire and stop the war at once. In order to do that, he must seize the capital of the Creatia Empire, The city of Alzeihm and replace the current emperor. The question is, who is going to be the new emperor?

He don't know. It is a question that he cannot answer. The only thing that he knew of is to protect his ideal, and that is to protect everyone. Even the current emperor can realize his mistake and change the empire back.

A few days later, the emperor sent a letter to Angela. The emperor wrote;

"My sister, Angela, we have completed the new experiment. I want you to come to the Imperial Palace and met me. I will tell you more details on the new project"

"It seems like that rotten man has something new he wants to show to me," Angela said to Max. "Your brother...?" Max replied with a question. "Yeah, would you like to follow me?" Angela invites Max to follow her to the Imperial Palace. "Yea, it seems like I may be able to get an information on the new experiment," Max replied and continues "But why are you helping me on my ideal?"

"It's simple. I'm interested in your ideals," she answered. It was a short answer but it is more than enough to make Max to trusts in Angela. "I believe in you, since long ago, you can kill me if you wanted to," Max replied.

Angela told her armies to garrison in the Eastern City. It was a quick decision but she believes that her army would stay out of the capital's influence. Then both of them, followed by Angela's most trusted right man, Rafael. Rafael is then being told to stay in the outer gate of capital in order to help both of them to escape if anything happens.

The three of them arrived at the capital. "I never thought the day that I would go against my brother would come," Angela murmurs to both Rafael and Max. "Ma'am, since the capital is still under the influence of Agnes house, I assume that staying at the outer gate would be an easy task," Rafael replied. "Rafael, since I knew you in the camp, You're not the one to complains like this," Max said to Rafael. "Well Max. I guess this is a bad premonition. I never think of a task would be easy to do, and this is the first time," Rafael replied. "Rafael, I want you to be careful, I would not like it... to lose you... we've been together since the first time both of us going to a war," Angela said to Rafael seriously.

Angela and Max went to Imperial Palace to met with Angela's brother, the emperor of the Creatia Empire. In the first meeting, the emperor, Blaire, asks Angela a question. "May I ask, my sister, who is this man?" Angela then replied swiftly, "He is one of my men, I promoted him to be my bodyguard."

"Hahaha, you do know how to "act" don't you? Your strength is equally strong as one thousand men, why did you need a bodyguard?" Blaire said and laughs heavily. "You just don't know how interesting he is," Angela replied. "Interesting, you said? Well, I guess, you got your interest too. But I'm different, I sought power, I sought to control the power, more than our ancestors were able to. Well, I'm not going to say anything about your interest. I want you to tell your men so that your men would also join in the experiment," said Blaire.

"Well, I'm going to see the benefits of your experiments first. I'm not going to join in a useless experiment," Angela said. "I guess you would say that. This is not a stu-pid experiment. A miracle occurred but different from what you've been through. I managed to restore the formulas unlike from what happened to you. So, I can do this experiment many times and it won't have any problems," Blaire replied.

"So won't you offer me the sample of the experiment?" Angela said and Blaire replies shortly, then he went to his room. "Tonight, I'll show you," is what he said. Both Angela and Max is relieved with the success. They managed to talk to the emperor about the experiment and the information on the new experiment is in their grasp, is what they thought.

Meanwhile, at the outer gate of the capital, Rafael is taking a walk alone. He understands that this mission is to stop the emperor's wrongdoings but his his heart is not at ease. He had a bad omen. At night, he is still taking a walk. He wants to know what is the bad omen he felt.

Suddenly, a man appeared at the wall of the capital where he is taking a walk. That man walks like a person who is drunk. "I've got a bad feeling about him, why would someone walks here alone if he is not from the army..?" Rafael said while walking at the person to confirm that man's identity.

The person snorts slowly, unlike someone who is drunk. "What the heck...?" Rafael said to himself. The person faces Rafael and made Rafael shocked. That man's face is unlike that of a human. It is pale and white. The man who looks pale and white moves by dragging his feet towards him. He drags faster and faster, making Rafael to retreat for a few steps. Rafael took out his sword and faces the man. It seems like that man does not afraid of Rafael's sword.

That man suddenly charges towards Rafael and jumps at him. "Damn!" Rafael slashes his sword and cuts the man in two. But that man does not bleed, his body seems to have rotten. Blaire smiled and looked at the upper body that still moves and is moving towards him. "I see... so this is the result of the new experiment," Rafael said and he know what this "thing" meant.

At the same time,in a dinner at the Imperial Palace, Blaire has not shown his face yet. Leaving Max and Angela at the dinner's table alone. "Angela, it seems like he has not shown up his face yet," Max said. "Well, then, you may have the food if you like," said Angela. Max looked at Angela. She looks like a lonely princess, but that is what makes her charming is what he felt. "Angela, you're really beautiful when you wear that noble dress," Max said to Angela, praising her. "What are thinking of? Suddenly praising me, for what?" Angela replied. "No, it's just my honest comment. I wonder why people would never say that you're beautiful," Max said to her. She smiled and replies "Maybe because everyone know what I am and I rarely show this side to all of my family except my brother."

"Pardon me for being late, let's have dinner and after the dinner, I will show you the result of the experiment," said Blaire. After the dinner, Blaire suddenly went beside Max and slowly whispering to Max. "My sister, isn't she beautiful? She is the ultimate success of my experiment. The way she danced like a superhuman is what I proud of."

"Sir, I'm not attracted to that side of her," Max replied. "Well, it's okay then," Blaire replied and opened a large door. A really bad smell came out from the door. "This is the result of my experiment," said Blaire. "What the.... dead person who is still alive...?" said Angela and Max. Both of them is really shocked with the experiment Blaire done. "I called them, the undeads or in a better word, The Immortal Army" he said in a satisfying tone.

Max leaves the experimental area as soon as possible, leaving Blaire with Angela alone. "What's with your bodyguard?" Blaire asks Angela. "Nothing, it's just he can't stand seeing these things," Angela replied. "He's your bodyguard, right? How could he be afraid of these objects?" Blaire asks Angela again. She stares at her brother. She can't stand his brother's words anymore, long ago, she is able to tolerate his words but now, the Immortal Army created by his own brother is called an "object". She left the experimental area too, leaving Blaire alone.

"What do you think, Shaktar? Her attitude is the attitude of someone who will oppose me later," Blaire asks to the wall. A man came out of the wall and replies "It is possible but she do not have the power to stop the power of the Flesh Golem. She is not a threat anymore. Your majesty must now think on how to oppose the Astrean Empire. It seems like she foresaw this and retreated her armies to the nearest eastern capital." Shaktar replied. "Hahaha, she is indeed my sister. I believe that she could even force her mens to betray me. But she is not capable to do so yet, not until she gets a good person to be relied to.. wait, her bodyguard.... Tch, I've wrongly anticipated her. Well, I'm not afraid of her since the Flesh Golem and Bratzski Demon is here," Blaire said and smirks.

"Another thing, your majesty, there's a person who is currently engaging in combat with our guard Immortal Army," Shaktar continues. "Can you identify the person's identity, Shaktar?" Blaire asks Shaktar. "That person is John Rafael. He ranked second-in-command of the Angela's forces. The army just calls him Rafael," Shaktar explained. "Interesting, you're really planning to defeat me, Angela? Well, I'm going to take your challenge, kill all your mens and make you to fall into the pit of despair," Blaire laughs heavily.

Meanwhile, Rafael is combating with the guard "Immortal Army". That man is just insane, he slashed and cuts the man off but it is a failure. That man won't die. It is a fact that he is forced to realize. He had to find a way to defeat it. No matter what the cost, he promised the princess that he would return. He takes a battle stance, his own battle stance, not the standard battle stance he uses on war and so he changes the position of his sword, the end of the sword faces earth but slightly to the back. He takes a deep breath to launch his special slash.

"Immortal bastard! I'll defeat you!" Rafael slashes the sword in an impossible direction. No, it is not impossible, it's just his sword is not the standard of Creatia Empire army's sword. His sword seems to be shaped like the Eastern Astrean Empire's sword, however it is doubled it's length of the edge, making it an impractical sword. The sword is then slashed from backward to left, right, downward and finally upward. However, the slashes does not ended there, it is just the middle of his slashes. He bent the sword using his speed and launches the final slash towards the undead's body, however, it is not the undead's body which exploded upon the impact, it is the undead's head and finally stopped the undead's movement.

"Hah...hah... I can't believe the capital invented something as crazy as this..." he said while taking a deep breath. However, another undeads came for him. It is not just one, but more than tens in number. "What the heck.... this is crazy..." he sighs and smirks "I'm not going to die here, you bastards!" he shouted.

At the same time, Angela and Max decided to leave the capital as soon as they could. "My brother may have realized our intention, we must return to the eastern capital. I would ask our mens to talk to the Astrean Empire's Emperor and stop this madness as soon as possible. We would side with them as soon as possible. He's crazy. I can't stay with him any longer. Both of these empire must be reunited just like it was" Angela said to Max. "Yea, it's true.. wait... it seems like someone is fighting on top of the walls. It's Rafael?" Max replies while pointing his finger.

Angela amplifies her eyesight using her powers, thus she is able to see from a far range. "Yes it is, he is currently fighting with many of those so-called Immortal Army. We're going to help him," Angela charges towards the wall by jumping from roof to roof. "I can't do that... I should just run towards the wall and help Rafael that way" he said in hesitation. "But, I won't make it then... damn...I want to save everyone but I'm not capable of doing so.." Max said while gritting his teeth.

"Max, you would have someone that makes you want to protect your ideals," it is the memory of him and Chris again. He remembered that well. He knew that with someone to be protected, he could protect his ideals. He looked at the back of Angela. It is a girl that attracted him. She is charismatic, beautiful with some arrogant behavior. It is her quality that makes him to be attracted to her. Now that he knew who must he protect to protect his ideal, he takes a deep breath and spoke to his body "Once, you saved me from her, now show me that you could protect her"

Max jumps from roof to roof and unbelievably, he could jump really high. He smiled. He knew that he could protect everyone. It is fate that guides him to do so, that's what he believes. That thought is not the only thing which driven him, it is her, the other factor that drives him. He catches up with Angela soon later and arrives at the battle scene. Rafael has been defeated but he is not dying yet. "I'm sorry, Rafael, we're late" Max said. "Oh, I just want to say the same thing but you said it first" Angela says to Max. "Nah, it's not late, it's just that I can't be killed yet, so I won't die," Rafael replies. "Pride, eh. That's one of the factor that made a human," Angela replies. "Yeah, and you still have that aspect Angela, that's what makes you a human" Max says in confidence. She blushes but controlled her emotions. Both Angela and Max takes out their weapons and standby on their own battle stance. "Remember, these zombies must be destroyed it's brain to be defeated. It's not an easy task since there are many of them but both of you can make it," Rafael explained.

Done reading Chapter 1 to 5 <3
Immortal army :0 zombie attack xD

I have been writing this, and already at chapter 12, I meant, the end of the story. Shuu, would you give me your e-mail? I'll send it to you later